MAYBE IT’S MAYOWEEN! Ways to celebrate the season when it’s nigh-90 degrees

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Halloween is all about dead leaves and crisp air, the smell of apples baking in the oven. Fall has an unrelinquishable hold over the holiday, and it’s difficult to get into the spirit without those tendrils of chill creeping down your neck. Unfortunately, May is just about as opposite as you can get from October – the trees are blossoming with new leaves, the flowers are opening up, the weather is getting blistering, and people are running around in short shorts instead of flannels. About the only thing that’s the same is that allergies are rearing their ugly heads.

There aren’t any jack-o-lanterns to carve, either, but there are alternatives. There are alway alternatives. Here are a few ways you can enjoy Halloween, even in the balmy May weather.

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String a bunch of your Halloween lights up!

I almost always have lights up all year round, but if you really want to get in the spirit, pull out the orange and purple ones you have left over from last year’s supply and put them up around the house. Pull the shades and let the spooky glow turn your house into a creepy haunted mansion.
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Paint your cat, your dog, your kid, or your house black and orange.

This is my favorite blend of colors – I love seeing black and orange together. I have a black cat, and an orange cat, but I really want a black-and-orange calico cat. With my one cat’s orange fur with white spots, it makes it easy for me to turn him into the perfect Halloween kitty – just take some black spray paint and you can turn a plain old cat into a Mayoween puss!

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Schedule trick-or-treat in the newspaper for your house only.

Notice that May also has 31 days? Put an ad in the paper, not for a garage sale or an open house, but for one night only of trick-or-treating at the only house in town participating. You’re bound to get a lot of kids, and probably a few aggrieved parents. Make sure you’ve got plenty of candy to feed the masses, or you might find a riot on your hands, Walking Dead style.

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Deck your car out with Halloween gear.

I’ve always wanted to do this with my own car, but I’ve never had any extra money to spend on it. But since it’s not technically Halloween, there should be enough funds lying around to look for window clings and Halloween lights that plug into the charging station in your car. Throw up some cobweb around the windows (obviously being careful to avoid creating blind spots, we wouldn’t want any Mayoween accidents), and you have yourself your very own hearse.

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Build a haunted house… at work.

If you work in at an office job, chances are you’re a little bored sitting around typing at your computer. Take me for example; I’m doing all of this from the comfort of my own desk. It’s time you rearranged the office a little bit for Mayoween. Make your cubicle into your very own haunted desk, and then invite your coworkers in for some witch’s brew punch and some grape eyeballs. They might think you’re a little weird, but make sure you get dirt on them – Gregory picks his nose at lunch, and Stacy steals sodas from the break room fridge.

If all else fails, keep tuning in to The Moon is a Dead World!

I’ll be here all month long, giving you more Mayoween stuff to gnash your teeth at.

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